Not too long ago you could only access porn if you bought some top shelf magazines or visited a local licensed store for a VHS or a DVD. Do you remember those? How films used to be bought before the empire of Netflix and Amazon Prime. Now however, is a very different time. You only have to type a few key words into Google to get some high quality porn.
The porn industry has a reputation and a history of being controversial, distasteful and corrupt. Similarly to any other industry where people have too much power, Harvey Weinstein springs to mind. During the 60s and 70s the industry was at its worst, because of how it became so popular within the mainstream media. Since then we have learnt, as a society, what is acceptable and what is not. In the UK we have the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) hard at work to make sure the standards and the regulations within the industry remain professional and upheld.
Most of the time all good things come from the BBFC, however in 2014 they banned a lot of sex acts, which was a controversial decision to say the least. It made sense to ban some of the acts, for example ‘role-playing as children’ and ‘penetration by any object associated with violence’. However, some of the acts can be seen as extremely sexist. For instance, a woman can no longer sit on a man’s face due to the possibility of suffocation, but a man can still force a penis into the woman’s throat. Also, female ejaculation is banned because it exits from the urethra and could be mistaken for urine, which has also been banned, but men can still openly ejaculate in UK porn. The people involved with the production of pornography should be professionals, therefore should be able to clearly see if a man no longer wants a vagina on his face and they should be able to clearly see the difference between urine and ejaculation, as they would if it came from a man. If the people behind porn have these confusions then it is perhaps not the acts but the people who should not be involved. As there are these bans it is important that when people watch porn they understand that they may not be seeing everything that would usually happen during sex, in real life. For example, many women ejaculate but if you have never seen it in porn you may think it never happens. Many of these bans cause young people to think that certain acts are okay for men but not for women, or are completely unacceptable even if they are. For example, BDSM has been banned but as long as it is between consenting adults and the acts are safely played out, then there shouldn’t be a problem.
Renee Denyer, store manager of Sh! Women’s Emporium, shared her thoughts about some of the bans that were made. She said: “It’s all focused on male sexuality. It’s rubbish.” Renee focused her frustrations on the face sitting ban. She said: “I mean face sitting, hello? It’s one of the easiest and best positions for a woman to orgasm in anyway. There needs to be more sex positive people involved in these decisions.”
The concept of porn is that someone can watch their fantasy come to life with actors on a set, in a safe place. Just because someone likes the idea behind a fantasy doesn’t mean that they are going to make it happen. Psychosexual therapist Krystal Woodbridge explained this further: “You can have any fantasy and there isn’t a fantasy police, so you can think of anything you want. People may fantasise about something they would never do in real life, but that doesn’t mean they cant enjoy that fantasy. For example, with Fifty Shades of Grey, many people wouldn’t want to become a submissive, but they still like the fantasy of it.” This is the same with porn; it is there to help fulfil fantasies that people wish to see, whilst knowing that the actors involved are safe with a full crew present.
There is nothing wrong with watching porn but if it is absorbed in the wrong light then problems can easily arise. Many young people are learning about sex through porn due to the lack of sex education resources. Therefore, it can make young people believe in certain expectations that aren’t necessary. For example, many young boys think that they need to have an erection constantly when that isn’t the case. Throughout sex the boy could be incredibly hard in some moments and not so much in others, but by watching porn you don’t see that as it is designed to be the ‘best bits’. Also, girls think that they need to be completely hair free and have perfect make up throughout, which is unrealistic unless you have a hair and make up artist in the room. Another factor is that it gives young people the impression that when the guy climaxes that is the end, despite if the woman has or hasn’t. The timeline in a porno is the ideal, but isn’t reality. It is not a depiction between a happy couple who are in a healthy relationship. It is usually a spontaneous situation with little context.
Denyer believes that porn is making people desensitised. She said: “I think teenagers are learning about sex from porn and it is making them a bit desensitised. They don’t know what is normal, or what is medically okay.”
Watching porn is completely normal, but so many women still feel like they might be judged if they do it. It is expected for men to watch porn, so equally they could get judged for not part taking in the activity. If you want to watch it then that is absolutely fine, as long as you take it seriously and make sure you understand that it is not real.
As technology has developed you can now easily watch porn on your smartphone if you want to. According to Common Sense Media, 50% of young people admit to being addicted to their phones, so if they are also watching porn on their phones then porn addictions can easily start. Make sure you are aware when you are watching and if you feel like you need to rely on porn to make yourself aroused, then it is time to seek help. Talk to a doctor or visit a sex clinic to explain how you are feeling.