The world needs more positivity

It seems like body positivity has been screaming from the dawn of time, yet it’s only been in recent years everyone has pricked their ears to listen. The world has become a much more open place for gender and sexuality, yet for body image it still seems decades behind.

In 2016 Dove conducted the largest worldwide survey for body image and the results were shocking. It revealed that 70% of girls have low body confidence and 87% of women will stop themselves from eating to make their appearance more attractive.

Dove also discovered that 71% of women and 67% of girls understand that the issues are being caused by the media, but there is little escape in this day and age. Majority of the world wants the media to portray a wider range of physical appearances, with age, race and body type. Various campaigns are doing that, but it is definitely a slow start. Khloe Kardashian’s brand Good American was one of the first to stop using phrases such a plus size, tall and petite by just creating sizing for everyone.

The media portray an unrealistic standard of beauty, not just mainstream media but also social media is heavily filtered. There are rarely photos posted on Instagram of young women bare faced with no touch-ups via the app. By everyone doing this it makes it harder and harder for people to truly know what people’s faces look like in reality. Skin doesn’t even look like skin anymore, it is always airbrushed and edited. So, not only does the mainstream media need to publicise a range of men and women but so do we. We need to stop applying filters every chance we get and just post a selfie without editing it first. As well as filters, make-up needs to not have such a huge impact. Find Your True Beauty surveyed millennials in 2013 and found out that 94% wear make-up because it makes them feel confident, as it covers their flaws. Make-up is also designed to enhance beautiful features, but few young people use it for that.

If you have social media accounts and you follow people who upload images of themselves that make you feel bad about yourself, then unfollow them. Follow accounts that will help you lift yourself up, whether they are talking about body positivity or showing you their journey to recovery from an eating disorder. Filter through your following list to make sure that everyone on their will build you up. Vloggers such as Carrie Hope Fletcher (itswaypastyourbedtime) and Meghan Jayne Crabbie (bodyposipanda) are constantly posting about body positivity so start following them if you don’t know where to begin.

Of course, it is completely impossible to think happy positive thoughts about your body every single second of everyday. There are going to be moments where you think I look a bit chubby today or my skin doesn’t look great, but as long as you don’t let those moments get the better of you then its fine. Taking Carrie’s advice as long as you are happy and healthy then you’re fine. That is the most important thing, that you are happy and healthy.

Tess Holliday is an American model with a dress size 22, as well as author and mother. Tess is encouraging women to be comfortable in their own skin. At the age of 13 she was told she was too fat to model, feeling bruised but not broken in that moment she made sure she became a model. Striving forward she has become the only signed model with her weight and her height. Recently Tess started a body positive movement on social media, titled F Your Beauty Standards. After a comment on a post stating that she shouldn’t be showing off her skin because she is fat, she launched the movement, completely unaware of what it would become. She says, “I’m really proud of what it has become. It came from anger and sadness, it’s not fair that I live in a bigger body and can’t show it off or be proud.” The original Instagram post has now been shared almost three million times.

Tess also makes it clear that she doesn’t hate the words pig or fat as many larger women do, she owns them. She says, “I choose to call myself fat and reclaim that. I often call myself a pig because well pigs are cute, of course I would want to be an absolute babe.” She continues to explain the impact of these words. She says, “there is so much power behind these words. The word fat was the reason I dropped out of school, it’s the reason I literally thought I was going to die alone. I didn’t think I could have a relationship with someone who loves me or have incredible sex being the size I am…and I do.”

With all these statistics about body confidence it is no surprise that more and more people are also worried about how they look in bed. A Daily Mail survey in 2011 announced that 52% of women will postpone sex with their partner if they don’t feel confident about specifically their weight. It is of course acceptable that if someone doesn’t feel sexy then it is unlikely that they want to have sex, but this survey was specifically about their weight. A journal published in the US National Library of Medicine in 2016, showed evidence of a definite link between a woman’s body image and her sexual functioning. If a woman felt unattractive then she wouldn’t naturally lubricate or show sexual desire. If you feel that your partner will mock you for whatever reason then it might be a time to reconsider the relationship.

It is extremely important that all women, whether young or old, understand that if someone wants to have sex with you, or is having sex with you, they are not looking at your flaws. They see you and are attracted to you before sex even begins.

So many young women worry about not being sexy when having sex, failing in some way or another. The Dove survey found that 78% of girls and women feel pressure to never make mistakes or show any weakness, which of course is unrealistic. Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay. Always have launched a new campaign this year called Like a Girl, to help the 49% of girls, during puberty, who fear failure. No matter how you feel about your changing body you should try new things and should never fear failing at sex. You can’t even fail at sex. The only thing you should be focusing on is having fun and staying safe.